Rick Perry
Score: N/A
“I don’t take quizzes. That’s for pansies.”
Mitt Romney
Score: 100%
He cheated. “I did well because I love America so much.” Nope, definitely cheated.
Michele Bachmann
Score: 120%
She made up and answered her own extra credit questions on the tests. “Are there retakes? I could do better.”
Ron Paul
Score: N/A
Automatic disqualification for supporting legalization of heroin. “The American people should be grading the test themselves. The scorers are corrupt.” Probably true.
Newt Gingrich
Score: N/A
He devised his own test, gave himself an A, and then accused Romney of cheating.
Jon Huntsman
Score: F
“I would have scored well if the test were graded by independents.”
Herman Cain
Score: N/A
Scorers disqualified Cain, mistaking him for McCain. He met them in face-to-face to clear up the confusion, but was then mistaken for Obama.
Rick Santorum
Score: C
Answered each question with a diatribe against gay marriage. Damn, he still got C!
Sarah Palin
Score: N/A
She did not take the test, but drove up in her bus outside the test for a 2-hour speech, spoke for 15 minutes about how George Washington always said tests were for Communists, and then left early.
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2 comments:
Waco,
I'm curious: How would Gov. Christie have scored? Also, does a certain sign at Rick Perry's hunting camp influence his standing in the values quiz?
Either way, his campaign is unraveling faster than the Enterprise D's warp core in season 6, episode 25.
Look it up.
LeVar
Good analogy. Perry's campaign is falling apart. As I said, he does not take tests, but I'm guessing the his camp would not have come up in the test.
Christie would have accused the test-takers of being in a teacher's union, and then he'd probably tell them to go to hell.
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