What went wrong?
The Sudden Ending of the Unexplained Obama Love-Fest: His inflated poll numbers during his honeymoon were bound to come back down to Earth now that he’s actually doing stuff and people are forming opinions. Those numbers were based on the fact that nothing had happened.
The Public’s Memory Problem: Obama ran explicitly on health care reform. Is anybody home? This is not like Bush running on a “humble foreign policy” and then launching that misadventure in Iraq. Although, to be fair, maybe the public has just learned not to believe to politicians when they make promises.
Blue Dog Democrats: Meet the Blue Dogs. These moderate to conservative Democrats are on an epic quest to prove that Democrats are not tax and spenders who only waste your money. They are also wary of health care reform’s hefty price tag. They are correct to argue that few American institutions are more wasteful than the government. However, they fail to realize that one of those few institutions is the US Health Care System. We could pull ideas from a hat at random and get a less wasteful system. Opposing health care reform because it is too expensive is like wearing jeans to an interview with H&R Block because a suit would cost too much. This is what we call being pennywise and pound foolish. Despite the large startup cost, reform would probably save money in the long run. Even the Democrats should be able to create a system that is less wasteful.
Angry Mobs (WTF???): Other people are worried the government will not only spend all their money, but will take their doctors way from them. These angry mobs have been lent credibility by Sarah Palin (more sub-prime loans!) who has echoed their fears of death panels, forced euthanasia, and government-funded abortions (personally administered by Obama!). Now, these people have a right to express their opinions on health care, but so far all they’ve done is make a lot of noise and say nothing (they should run for office!). In fact, you could even say these people are patriotic (as long as you thought anti-war protesters were patriotic). If you’re like me, you’re just sick of hearing about them (another Palin connection).
Obama pulls a Reverse Clinton (no, that’s not a sex position): Traveling back in time to 1992, we can see that Bill enlisted Hillary to draft a bill and then dumped it in the hands of the 535 members of congress, assuming that they’d line up loyally like they always do. Who could have predicted that politicians like to hear themselves talk and tend to bicker over issues for months? Obama has decided instead to let congress draft its own bill, except that they’ve drafted more than one. So this means we’re debating a set of hypothetical bills, only one of which will pass. Somewhere along the lines our political system became Deal or No Deal. Alright, America! You may be holding a briefcase with the Baucus Plan or the Kennedy-Dodd Plan or the Blue Dog Plan. Now do you want to keep this briefcase? I’m on the phone with the banker and he says the insurance companies will pay you $800 billion dollars for the briefcase.
Until the Democrats agree on a final plan, we’re fighting futile battles over hypotheticals. Obama has to pull his party together soon and show that he remembers what happened last November.
Madame Failure and the Mormon Mime: The Senate is being led by Harry Reid (D-Nevada), the Bumbling Boxer, the Soft-spoken Westerner who is rarely speaking and never heard, the Mormon Mime. I don’t blame him perse. He seems like a nice guy and it’s not easy for a Democrat to hold office in Nevada, but clearly the Democrats made a poor choice (as usual) by putting him in charge. Whatever he’s doing isn’t working. Meanwhile, the House is run by Nancy Pelosi (D-Hippietown), aka Madame Failure. Pelosi should be recognized for pulling off a huge feat. She has been the strongest uniting force for a divided Republican Party, while somehow not bringing home the bacon for her Democratic base. Bottom line: Neither one has accomplished anything other than proving that 60 votes aren’t enough for the Democrats to pass bills. So who are Pelosi and Reid unable to convince?
Blue Dog Democrats: Meet the Blue Dogs. These moderate to conservative Democrats are on an epic quest to prove that Democrats are not tax and spenders who only waste your money. They are also wary of health care reform’s hefty price tag. They are correct to argue that few American institutions are more wasteful than the government. However, they fail to realize that one of those few institutions is the US Health Care System. We could pull ideas from a hat at random and get a less wasteful system. Opposing health care reform because it is too expensive is like wearing jeans to an interview with H&R Block because a suit would cost too much. This is what we call being pennywise and pound foolish. Despite the large startup cost, reform would probably save money in the long run. Even the Democrats should be able to create a system that is less wasteful.Angry Mobs (WTF???): Other people are worried the government will not only spend all their money, but will take their doctors way from them. These angry mobs have been lent credibility by Sarah Palin (more sub-prime loans!) who has echoed their fears of death panels, forced euthanasia, and government-funded abortions (personally administered by Obama!). Now, these people have a right to express their opinions on health care, but so far all they’ve done is make a lot of noise and say nothing (they should run for office!). In fact, you could even say these people are patriotic (as long as you thought anti-war protesters were patriotic). If you’re like me, you’re just sick of hearing about them (another Palin connection).Obama pulls a Reverse Clinton (no, that’s not a sex position): Traveling back in time to 1992, we can see that Bill enlisted Hillary to draft a bill and then dumped it in the hands of the 535 members of congress, assuming that they’d line up loyally like they always do. Who could have predicted that politicians like to hear themselves talk and tend to bicker over issues for months? Obama has decided instead to let congress draft its own bill, except that they’ve drafted more than one. So this means we’re debating a set of hypothetical bills, only one of which will pass. Somewhere along the lines our political system became Deal or No Deal. Alright, America! You may be holding a briefcase with the Baucus Plan or the Kennedy-Dodd Plan or the Blue Dog Plan. Now do you want to keep this briefcase? I’m on the phone with the banker and he says the insurance companies will pay you $800 billion dollars for the briefcase.
Until the Democrats agree on a final plan, we’re fighting futile battles over hypotheticals. Obama has to pull his party together soon and show that he remembers what happened last November.
***UPDATE
Hours after this post, the White House responded, changing their tune.
