PMW has intercepted this correspondence between Past America and Future America
Dear Future America,
Help us!!! Everything is going crazy. We have to vote soon and we don’t know what to do. Bush doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing, but this Kerry guy seems like a dumbass. It looks like we’re going to give Bush another chance. Iraq is not going well, but it could turn around. Bush has done some bad things, but he hasn’t totally screwed everything up. Afghanistan looks like it will turn out okay. The economy is not doing well, but it looks like it could turn around soon.
Also, oil prices are out of control and gas prices are soaring. The Boston Globe says prices will soon be up to two dollars! How can we afford this? We may have to buy Priuses. But let’s certainly not resort to public transportation. I’d rather be dead in my car than alive on the subway. We have to drill for more oil or something. But where? How much is left? What should we do? Help!!!
Past America
Dear Past America,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Yours,
Future America
Dear Future America,
Help us!!! Everything is going crazy. We have to vote soon and we don’t know what to do. Bush doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing, but this Kerry guy seems like a dumbass. It looks like we’re going to give Bush another chance. Iraq is not going well, but it could turn around. Bush has done some bad things, but he hasn’t totally screwed everything up. Afghanistan looks like it will turn out okay. The economy is not doing well, but it looks like it could turn around soon.
Also, oil prices are out of control and gas prices are soaring. The Boston Globe says prices will soon be up to two dollars! How can we afford this? We may have to buy Priuses. But let’s certainly not resort to public transportation. I’d rather be dead in my car than alive on the subway. We have to drill for more oil or something. But where? How much is left? What should we do? Help!!!
Past America
Dear Past America,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Yours,
Future America
5 comments:
Dear Present America,
Give it up. Following WWIII, the nations of the world meet in San Francisco to sign a peace treaty -- the designs of which later become formative to the Federation's 2161 charter.
The Bush administration takes up just three paragraphs in our galactic history logs. Historians found much fault with it, though not as much as with the subsequent McCain administration, which left the U.S. in Iraq another four years.
Coolent Leak! We have a Coolent leak! Perhaps if Mr. Bush could find the time to repair our country's warp core breach and spend less time calling the Pope's speach awesome we would all get nitrogain narcosis and get to do these eight years back!
Thank you for your enthusiasm, Mr. Frakes.
Insubordination will not be tolerated. Don't make me confine you to quarters.
I'd like to see you try. I've set my phaser on "stun;" don't make me turn it up to "puree."
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