Thursday, February 12, 2009

GUEST POST: Total Shortfall

A $42 BILLION DEFICIT BROUGHT THEM TOGETHER. NOW THEY WILL HAVE THEIR REVENGE!

Governor Schwarzenegger (R-Hollywood) slashes the state’s budget for state parks and other government programs to make up for the state’s growing debt. It seems like a good move, but it will come back to burn him.


Pretty soon they're gonna cut forest firefighting equipment out of the budget and they won't be able to afford to import any more water and the whole state will be engulfed in flames. The rich Hollywoodites will be donating $10 a bottle VOSS water to the cause, but it'll be no use as the firefighters will have already been laid off.




Arnold will set off to try and arm-wrestle the fire for control of the state, but will only end up army rolling out of his Hummer when he drives it off an enormous washout on the 1, sending the car flying off the cliff and into the ocean.



Mel Gibson will walk over from his heavily modified 1973 Mustang in a leather jacket asking for gas. They'll look across the washout to see their best friend Billy Baldwin setting up a ramp to jump over to them. When he tries to get back into his car he'll be complaining about the door handle being too hot to touch, and despite his friends' cries of protest, Billy will decide to kick in the window so that he can attempt to jump the washout.

But when he does he's hit with a huge backdraft exploding outward catching his leg and shirt on fire. Frantically Billy tries the drop and roll strategy forgetting where he is and rolls right off the cliff. Arnold will let out a guttural scream, tear off his shirt and grab the nearest claymore while Mel will quietly brood and grab the nearest sawed off shotgun. The pair will embark into the depths of the forest fire on a revenge story for the ages.
-Nick

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