I want to send out a heartfelt public apology to all the readers of this blog (all six of you). I had an unfortunate job working for the Dark Lord Kromdar over the last 8 months and he gave me little if any time to blog or use my soul in any way other than to fuel his dark dominion in the undercaverns of Mt. Doom. I know, it's really no excuse to let you down and I felt that in order to maintain our credibility with the readership we needed to establish some sort of trust bond or safety blanket type thingy so that you aren't left in this kind of situation again.If this wasn't a digital sort of pledge I'm sure we'd all spend a day together doing trust falls backward into each others arms and re-enacting our birth from the womb of forgiveness but since this is a blog, and i'm pretty sure that kind of stuff is all clap trap anyways, Let's do this... I'd like to offer you the same kind of bullshit pillow talk that the Republican party offered us way back in 1994.
I present to you:
THE POLITICAL MOUTHWASH CONTRACT WITH AMERICA!!
The Deadbeat Bloggers and Journalists at PMW declare the following:
1. We shall post every week (rain or shine) twice a week on Tuesday and Thursday.
2. We will do our best to rely less on facts (which are easy to get wrong) and try to write articles based solely on opinion and conjecture.
3. We promise to use smaller words and keep all text at a maximum of a 6th grade reading level
4. We will decrease the amount of drunk/high blog postings by 50% over the next 10 months.
5. If anybody still wants a PMW T-shirt they are officially on sale today for $30, email me for details and i can get them to you within 17 business days.
Thanks everybody for your understanding...stay weird!
2 comments:
Good to see you're back. I have noticed, with some malcontent, that your "contract with America" map is one of the country circa the 20th and very early 21st centuries. In 2033, the United States added 51st and 52nd states, and it remained such until 2079. Besides, by the early 2020s the map had really changed. You've got sanctuary districts, WWIII and eventually the Western Coalition's peace treaty signed in 2053.
How about an updated map, circa 2100?
LeVar
Hmmm, this contract appears to have already been broken, looking at the frequency of recent postings ... but perhaps this was meant to stoke false expectations in your six (now seven) readers and get them to continually check back ... and finally purchase a T-shirt in frustration. If so, solid effort.
Although, this does remind me of when the Traveller took me to Farkus IV and the Farkisians tried to capture us in a singularity warp. The effort was valiant, but they neglected to account for minute phase differences in our races, so the warp failed rather spectacularly (the Traveller got us out of there in the nick of time with his usual camel toe trick).
But I digress. Where was I? Oh yes, valiant efforts. I look forward to more!
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