Blago to the Future

To seek, to strive, to find and not to yield. These were the words that our boy Blago quoted on his final press conference as IL's Governor. Perhaps what he should have said was "To seek, to strive, to find... a new job." So you may be asking yourself, what is Blago possibly going to do now that he has found himself unemployed? I am glad you asked. Here is a list of careers which he is now considering:

1. Game Show Host: Win Shit with Blago! Blago hosts a show where you have to try to buy various items from him and he gets to say lines like this: "This car is a fucking valuable thing, I am not going to give it away for fucking nothing."

2. New Host of American Idol: "Thank you contestant number four hundred thousand, twenty six but your hair just isn't cutting it for me. If you can put me on the board of directors for your company and get a job for my wife then I will think of letting you through to Hollywood."

3. Poet Laureate Rod: In his famous interview with Campbell Brown (please refer to list of hot news woman mentioned below), he said the following which make him well qualified for this post: "Well, here, let me set the record straight. I don't know a lot of poetry. There's a couple of poems I learned ever since I was a little kid..."

4. President of Emily's List: People talk rough. "If I had known there were ladies listening, I never would have talked like that."

5. Supreme Court Justice: "The constitution is fundamental that everyone has a right to contest false accusations and to confront accusers and they're simply denying these outright, but it's bigger then me and that's why I am taking to a national audience."

6. Civil Rights Activist: "I thought about my wife I was leaving behind and I tried to find some inspiration from historical figures who had similar experiences because that gives you inspiration and I thought of Mandela and Gandhi..." "I am not comparing myself to Dr. King but he had a saying 'In the end, we remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

7. Director of the FBI: "I want to have every taped conversation of the wiretapped phone involved, heard in the process. I am in many ways the anti-Richard Nixon, who worked very hard in Watergate to keep those tapes from being heard."

8. Prophet: "This is about the office of the governor, and if they're successful, which I suspect they will be, with these rules and removing me from office, then it's going to be difficult for my successors and any other government in future impeachments to be in a position where they can properly defend themselves, because this is the precedent that's being set on the removal of an officer elected by the people by a legislative branch that's not elected by all the people." He foresaw his own fate...

To seek, to strive, to find and not to yield. Well he certainly got the last part right. That is all.

-Lance Murdock