While the nation grapples with a serious recession, apparently gold medal-winner and former national hero, Michael Fred Phelps (this time I’m using a real middle name!) is squandering his riches on illegal drugs. As a country goes hungry, desperate for a chicken in every pot, apparently the Michael Phelps solution is some pot in every pot. This is serious. We need to strip him of his medals. The International Olympic Committee strictly forbids athletes from smoking marijuana as it clearly enhances their ability to perform (apparently the IOC smokes a lot of weed too!).
I submit the comment section of this post as a petition to strip Phelps of all his medals (and nothing else, ladies, don’t get confused!) as well as a space for PMW Nation to express their outrage at his use of an illicit drug. My only hope is that we influence him to quit before he overdoses.
In case Mr. Phelps reads this, the ideas expressed here are solely those of The Waco Kid (I-Blogosphere) and are not necessarily the views of Political Mouthwash or the PMW Staff. Also, if you have any weed or know where to find it, please contact Goofers McWaxalot, Lance Murdock, and/or Viceroy Fizzlebottom.
I submit the comment section of this post as a petition to strip Phelps of all his medals (and nothing else, ladies, don’t get confused!) as well as a space for PMW Nation to express their outrage at his use of an illicit drug. My only hope is that we influence him to quit before he overdoses.
In case Mr. Phelps reads this, the ideas expressed here are solely those of The Waco Kid (I-Blogosphere) and are not necessarily the views of Political Mouthwash or the PMW Staff. Also, if you have any weed or know where to find it, please contact Goofers McWaxalot, Lance Murdock, and/or Viceroy Fizzlebottom.
4 comments:
I see a little silhouetto of a man. Gallileo! Gallileo Figuero! He's just a poor boy from a poor family. Spare him his life from this monstrosity!
LeVar
...and Michael Phelps looks a little bit like a white Worf. I support a petition to have Worf stripped of his medals, but perhaps not Phelps. Only because he is a mere earthling.
LeVar
I wholeheartedly disagree with the conclusion that he should be stripped... of his medals. He won those medals sober and fair and square and personally think he deserves a little R+R via a drug induced haze. This argument is like saying Val Kilmar should be stripped of his non existent oscar for Top Gun because he is now too fat to leave his house and spends most of his day now stoned. Secondly, if you honestly believe pot is a performance enhancing drug (with the exception of sex of course) then clearly you have never tried to tie your shoes, let alone swim really fast while stoned. I think he should invest all of his endorsement money on getting pot legalized and figuring out a way consume it via swimming in a pool of it. The faster you swim, the higher you get! This is genius idea and I want royalties! Royalties... to the FUTURE! A new capitalistic take on Back to the Future. That is all.
Mr. Frakes
Clearly, as you argue the irony escapes me, it has actually escaped you. This was a satirical post and I have always supported the legalization of marijuana.
Waco
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