WHY CAN’T IT HAPPEN?: Democratic Party Declares Spring Break

After the Mississippi Primary on Tuesday, there will no primary elections until Pennsylvania on April 22nd. That’s March 12-April 21: no elections. For those of you who hate math (I’m right there with you), that’s 41 days (You’re welcome!). Think about that for a second. They’d still be on the campaign trail.

Obama would go out every day talking about Change and New Politics. Hillary would drone on about how she’s ready on Day One to answer that red phone (She thinks she’s running to be Batman!) and how Obama is full of empty speeches and no experience (but somehow, she totally wants him to be her VP).

John McCain would come out once a day to warn us that naïve hippies like Hillary and Obama want to surrender to the enemies of freedom. We hear all this constantly, although at least every week or so a couple states get to vote to mix things up. But 6 weeks of this nonsense and nothing else? Madness…

Luckily, Hillary and Obama figured this out and have announced they are calling a Spring Break for the primaries. They will spare voters by suspending all campaigning for 4 weeks. “It would be unfair to subject voters to 6 weeks of us debating,” an Obama spokesman told reporters. “There’s not enough to talk about. It would be torture for them and Senator Obama does not condone torture.” Hillary was also proud of the decision. “This is one thing Senator Obama and I agree on…besides all our policy positions.” Hours later, McCain endorsed the plan. “Let’s face it, my friends. I need to nap a lot. I’m an old man, my friends, and I would have fallen asleep on the campaign trail anyway. Now I can sleep at home. Good night, my friends.”