GOOFERS MCWAXALOT: The Return of the KING!

My Subjects, I Returneth!

First I must apologise for my frighteningly long absence. Over the past 3 months I've been settling into a lifestyle that does not allow me to endlessly indulge in the simple pleasures of blogging. I'm afraid that my days of making 4 to 5 posts within 24 hours are long over; however, I do promise to give you at least one good post every week (and maybe a few bad ones). So with that out of the way I bid you all well...let's get into today's post!

ISSUES THAT HAVE FUCKED WITH MY BRAIN WHILE I'VE BEEN GONE..

1.) GEORGE BUSH IMPEACHMENT

I'm not sure if a lot of readers have been noticing, but this issue has been flown silently under the radar for the better part of the last 3 months now. Dennis Kucinich and a handful of left-leaning Democrats have decided to try and string up Bush on war crimes charges. Once more a book alleging that the white house forged documents to create ties between Al Qaeda and Saddam could give this argument some serious headwind. MSM has been really out of the loop on this one, considering how much they love to break a scandal. Mainstream Democrats also seem reluctant to pull the lid off this one since they think it might jeopardize the chances of a democratic victory in November. In this bloggers opinion i think it would give a great deal of credibility to our nation (maybe even more than an Obama victory) when it comes to changing the perception of our cowboy diplomacy stance (pictured below)

If there's one thing that cowboys and the rest of the world can agree on (other than killing each other) it's a good ol' fashioned lynching!

2.) Hillary supporters going "shitty-pants crazy" for John McCain

Here at PMW we feel sorry for those legitimate Hillary supporters who thought that she had a better message and a more solid idea platform than Barack Obama. That's your opinion and obviously you're entitled to it. What continues to confound me are those individuals who are turning to John McCain as the cure-all for their Hillary loss. This sort of back stabbing smacks of racism, sexism and ageism all together! You've heard of "the race card" well I'm playing the trifecta if you will. The royal flush of complaining. I'm calling you all out! Either

A) you won't vote for a black guy...

B) You wanted a woman president and have decided to remind us that hell hath no furry like a woman's scorn (which 99% of Americans ALREADY learned from Rosie O'Donnell thank you.) or

C) Obama is just too young and you wanted a crotchety old nut-scratcher/vag-digger to make the same old decisions presidents have been making for the last 8 glorious/prosperous/economically golden years.

Thanks a lot crazy Hillary supporters...if McCain wins I'm blaming you (and Ralph Nader :D )

3) UFO's are REAL!!!!!!!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?!

Here's another quaint little diddy that managed to pass under the radar screen not to long ago. Apollo Astronaut Dr. Edgar Mitchell (DOCTOR for christ sakes...he's no moron here) who incidentally flew on Apollo 14 and holds the longest recorded moon walk EVER (9hours) reported that Aliens are in contact with humans and have been since the Roswell crash. I think the general tone across the USA from this tone was something like "Thank god...the Ron Paul supporters weren't COMPLETELY wrong....they tried so hard there losses were almost soul crushing"

*IN CASE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT A RON PAUL SUPPORTER IS, ONE IS PICTURED BELOW IN IT'S NATURAL HABITAT*

Anyways, after all the fuss, this is probably the most credible official EVER to come out in favor of UFOs. He's a fucking national hero for christ sakes. For the first time ever i side with the Ron Paul crazies. Let's seriously shed some light on this. I want answers!

Where's my tinfoil hat???

I RETURN!