WHY CAN’T IT HAPPEN? Obama taps Doc Brown

As Barack Obama takes office, he realizes the challenges we face and the consequences of failure. However, he is unsure what to do, having only 4, or maybe 8, years to lead the country. If only he had more time! Then he realizes his only option.

He calls up Doc Brown and orders him to build him a time machine. Soon, they travel into the future to survey the extent of the recession. There, they open up the newspaper (an industry that inexplicably survives the recession) to find that our fine country is totally in shambles. As they read it, they are in utter shock.

Employment is incredibly low, inflation is incredibly high, and there is no hope. They learn that hope apparently died in the past when President Obama drove away in a DeLorean with a strange scientist and they were never seen again.

At that point, Joe Biden assumed the presidency and that was a disaster. In his inaugural address, Biden told the country, “Well I’ve looked at the numbers. We’re completely screwed.” At that point, the stock market plummeted and never recovered.

“We must do something,” Obama tells Doc Brown. So they travel back in time to 2009. Obama tells his story to congress and they agree to pass whatever legislation he wants. America gets a stimulus package and it eventually helps the economy recover. They also pass laws requiring that all workers get a special basketball break for every 8-hour shift and all White Sox games are televised nationally on a major network. Obama and Doc Brown pull out their papers just in time to see the headlines change...