We expect to learn Saturday who Obama has chosen as his VP. The pundits have spent months speculating and thus far have only narrowed it down to three finalists. We’ve debated the Dream Ticket/Unity ticket with Hillary. Would he pick someone with tons of experience, like Sam Nunn (the Why is Obama on the Top of the Ticket ticket)? Would he dare to slight Hillary (slash make a good decision) and pick Kathleen Sebelius, who has emerged as the dark horse choice (yeah, O’Belius!). Strangely absent from the discussion is governor of New Mexico, and former Everything, Bill Richardson, who is almost as well-known as Hillary and similarly has a strong demographic without all the baggage. However, if we can trust the press, (and, really, this is the last thing we still trust you for, guys) it’s down to these three: Sen. Joe Biden, Sen. Evan Bayh, and Gov. Tim Kaine.
This is outrageous. These are weak choices. Sure they have their upsides. Biden is one of the few non-phony politicians in Washington (but people don’t want that as much they claim) and he is always hilarious (At the same time, he obviously could destroy the campaign at any time with a gaffe). Bayh could attract moderates and maybe bring in Indiana. Kaine also could attract independents with his calm, Obama-esque style. Still, it seems clear he picked these candidates because of how they’d sound on the ticket:
O’Biden, O’Bayhma. Pretty catchy huh. Although, it highlights his problem that he’s a secret Irishman. O’Kaine is the best. O’Kaine vs. McCain? Kaine and Able? O’Kaine vs. McSame? Not bad, Obama. Although, we’d have an impossible time discussing the election. “The problem with Kaine, I mean McCain, which Cain? The one that helps Obama gain, not the one who uses a cane.” That would get old fast (just like my sorry wordplay). But honestly, it’s the same reason Kerry didn’t run with Bob Kerrey in ’04. It’s too confusing. So, there’s one choice.
The first black sheriff in the United States knew what to do. He knew he needed a sidekick who would always have his back. A drunk with no fear, no aspirations, and no loyalties to anyone else. Sheriff Bart picked the Waco Kid!
This is outrageous. These are weak choices. Sure they have their upsides. Biden is one of the few non-phony politicians in Washington (but people don’t want that as much they claim) and he is always hilarious (At the same time, he obviously could destroy the campaign at any time with a gaffe). Bayh could attract moderates and maybe bring in Indiana. Kaine also could attract independents with his calm, Obama-esque style. Still, it seems clear he picked these candidates because of how they’d sound on the ticket:
O’Biden, O’Bayhma. Pretty catchy huh. Although, it highlights his problem that he’s a secret Irishman. O’Kaine is the best. O’Kaine vs. McCain? Kaine and Able? O’Kaine vs. McSame? Not bad, Obama. Although, we’d have an impossible time discussing the election. “The problem with Kaine, I mean McCain, which Cain? The one that helps Obama gain, not the one who uses a cane.” That would get old fast (just like my sorry wordplay). But honestly, it’s the same reason Kerry didn’t run with Bob Kerrey in ’04. It’s too confusing. So, there’s one choice.
The first black sheriff in the United States knew what to do. He knew he needed a sidekick who would always have his back. A drunk with no fear, no aspirations, and no loyalties to anyone else. Sheriff Bart picked the Waco Kid!
Obama Waco 2008!
1 comment:
The Waco Kid makes a great dark horse candidate...er...white horse...
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