Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Super Tuesday Redux: I’m Exhausted

Just like on Super Tuesday and every damn big primary Tuesday since, we had another election night that could have been written by J. J. Abrams. These elections are more hyped than any Lost episode and reveal far less. Here is the breakdown of the numbers:

Clinton’s Margin of Victory and Outcome

Less than 4 Clinton drops out

4-6 Clinton stays in, but no one cares

7-10 Uncertain, The Waco Kid slams his head into wall repeatedly

More than 10 Clinton regains a shred of credibility

Yes, the survey says 10% victory for Hillary. Once again, tonight we learn nothing! We continue to go in circles. Hillary’s victory seems impossible, but her elimination seems impossible, too. Her ghost will haunt Obama from the convention to the presidential debates. So, I am frustrated and exhausted.

This is terrible for me. It’s my job to cover this election (An angry commenter once told me, “Don’t quit your day job,” but I’m currently unable to find a day job). I can’t write anymore about this worthless rivalry. They agree on the issues almost entirely. I’ve already made jokes about potential endings, the endlessness of it all, and how bad the media coverage is. At this point, I may have to rely heavily on racist and sexist humor or else simply post papers I’ve written for school. This is like Chinese water torture. I can’t go on. I’m exhausted.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Tonight was disappointing. It is definitely starting to suck balls even more. I cringe at the thought of Hillary Clinton. I'm glad you're covering the election though. Your posts make me happy. :)