Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Huma Abedin: Hillary’s body person…in more ways than one?


In covering electoral politics, journalists encounter many rumors about different candidates. However, in the name of journalistic integrity, Political Mouthwash does not sink to the level of reporting on mere rumors. All the rumors about Hillary on sites like Drudge Report are ridiculous and we will completely ignore them. Except this one.

Pictured above, next to Hillary, is Huma Abedin, Hillary’s “body person.” This needlessly provocative title basically means that she is Hillary’s close advisor and personal assistant. Huma follows Hillary around all day and she actually wakes Hillary up and tucks her in. It’s a like a slumber party. A secret, hot, lesbian slumber party. I wonder if Bill has gotten in on that. Rumor has it that the two are engaged in a lesbian affair. But can you blame Hillary if it’s true? I mean whether she’s a lesbian or not, how could you resist that? I certainly couldn’t.

Even stranger are the stories surrounding Huma, who is well-known to political insiders. She has been called a genius and supposedly doesn’t sweat a drop even in intense heat. Public-radio broadcaster Katia Dunn believes “she has special powers.” There are conflicting reports on how old she is, ranging from 29 to 39, but the overwhelming consensus is that she’s old enough. Regardless, if Hillary’s not tapping that, she should at least have the class to pass Huma on to Bill. I mean, we might as well get Bill’s sex scandal out of the way early, so we can move on as a nation.

No comments: