Friday, January 11, 2008

Kucinich Demands Re-count: Political Grandstanding to Appease Attractive Wife? - The Kucinich Postulate





In what might be called the "Highlight" of the 2008 New Hampshire primary, Democratic Presidential Candidate Dennis Kucinich made a desperate appeal to the sympathies of the Democratic base by demanding an immediate recount in that state. Onlookers couldn't help but wonder why an candidate with as little as 2% of the vote in that state would even attempt to waste their breath over the subject. In a confidential meeting with Political Mouthwash reporters, aids to the candidate stated that "Kucinich is desperately trying to bridge the gap between miserable failure and forgetable mediocrity." In order to better understand this new strategy, a team of political analysts worked nearly 48 hours straight in order to bring you "The Kucinich Postulate".




Kucinich Postulate [Exhibit A]: The Kucinich postulate takes into account many different factors in the Democratic race for president. It's goal is to ultimately determine "Why the hell is this man running for president?" After a long and strenuous search for the truth we finally arrived at exhibit A....get ready...Kucinich has a hot wife!


<----- I mean seriously..look at her compaired to him..DAMN!

Measuring in at nearly an entire foot taller than Mr. Kucinich and with a tounge ring to boot, it was nearly case closed. She was MAKING him run for president. "But why?", we wondered. Here at Political Mouthwash we thought we had seen it all. Was it money, fame...or power?




Kucinich Postulate [Exhibit B]
Even now we were seeing a new, more angry Dennis Kucinich then had ever been observed in years previous. It left us curious about his intentions; However, this new "angry" Kucinich didn't get passed veteran Political Mouthwash staffer and Holocaust survivor Martin Letterman.



Martin Letterman (Holocaust Survivor): There was something very strange about being at Mr. Kucinich's rally today. It was almost like i'd been there before...for some reason I just couldn't quite put my finger on it...then it hit me"
















Very Sneaky Indeed Mr. Kucinich!



















Thanks to Mr. Lettermen, the Kucinich Postulate had been completed. Out of desperation for his wife's Vajayjay, Kucinich has been masquerading as a powerful and dangerous politician. You saw it here first...








No comments: