After New Hampshire, John McCain sits postured and ready to command the steadfast republican base. The "Good Ship Republican", while sturdy and functional seems to be suffering from old-age. In perhaps what might be the most awesomely powerful political coalition in United States history, 21st century Republicans have difficult questions to ask themselves.
1) Who's in our boat?
The Sacred Cult of Ron Paul
Probably the most important question that republicans have to ask themselves. The base seems to be more divided then ever. Professional UFO watchers and Locke Ness Monster devotees who call themselves "Ron Paul supporters" have cast themselves as the most evident symptom of this fissure in the party. (Pictured in the Figure Below)
Ron Paul Supporters call themselves "Real Conservatives" - Less Government, Less Taxation and apparently a crude understanding of economics. While a small percentage of Republicans are actually Ron Paul supporters, they do have a powerful weapon - Crazyness.
Christian "Fun" damentalists
These are the crucifixiated american right wing. The folks who's idea of survival esstentials are a bible and a shotgun. Favorites include Mike Huckabee and his most recent supporter and possible Vice Presidential running mate Chuck Norris. In a word, these individuals give any politican carte blanche in exchange that they run the country with the bible in mind. There are two things that these people do very well (1. Go to church 2. Vote)
2) Who's captain of our boat?
George Bush has been somewhat of hot potato. While symbolically the President in power has been the figurehead of his Party, GWB has been somewhat of a let down. While trying to bring all factions together he failed to appease any of the base. Approval ratings have reached Nixon status and there is rumor that Bush might end up leaving the presidency to persue a recording contract with his friend and Co-band mate (Orin Hatch) at Columbia records. Right now the republicans need a clear becon of hope. Something to unite them all. (ie Ronald Regan, Larry the Cable Guy, Jim Jones)
3) Is this maybe more of a submarine?
Possibly, but it has a lot of potential!
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