Huckabee: After losing on Super Tuesday, Huck will revert back to morbid obesity, eating everything he sees.
Hillary: Hillary will lose on Super Tuesday, and, after crying her eyes out, drown in a pool of tears.
Thompson: Mistaken for a KFC Famous Bowl, Thompson will be eaten by Huckabee.
Romney: After losing, Romney will take his fortune and purchase Mexico, where he will assume the presidency. Despite his best efforts, illegal immigration will increase astronomically because Mexicans will be more disturbed by a Romney Regime than living in abject poverty.
Edwards: After losing, Edwards will admit that rumors of his love child, as reported in the National Enquirer, were indeed true. Worse, he will also admit to having slept with the Bush twins and Chelsea Clinton. At the same time. Bush will resign in disgust before his term ends. Bill Clinton will high five Edwards publicly.
Guiliani and McCain: As the last two remaining candidates for GOP nomination, in a competition to see who is more patriotic, Guiliani will waterboard McCain on national television. McCain will get the nomination and Giuiliani will be sent to Guantanamo Bay for his disgraceful actions.
Obama: Obama will smoke weed on national television, but he will look so cool doing it that it will play well in the election. He will win the presidency and lead a successful charge to legalize marijuana.
Hillary: Hillary will lose on Super Tuesday, and, after crying her eyes out, drown in a pool of tears.
Thompson: Mistaken for a KFC Famous Bowl, Thompson will be eaten by Huckabee.
Romney: After losing, Romney will take his fortune and purchase Mexico, where he will assume the presidency. Despite his best efforts, illegal immigration will increase astronomically because Mexicans will be more disturbed by a Romney Regime than living in abject poverty.
Edwards: After losing, Edwards will admit that rumors of his love child, as reported in the National Enquirer, were indeed true. Worse, he will also admit to having slept with the Bush twins and Chelsea Clinton. At the same time. Bush will resign in disgust before his term ends. Bill Clinton will high five Edwards publicly.
Guiliani and McCain: As the last two remaining candidates for GOP nomination, in a competition to see who is more patriotic, Guiliani will waterboard McCain on national television. McCain will get the nomination and Giuiliani will be sent to Guantanamo Bay for his disgraceful actions.
Obama: Obama will smoke weed on national television, but he will look so cool doing it that it will play well in the election. He will win the presidency and lead a successful charge to legalize marijuana.
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